when I was seven
mom wanted to move to the "boonies"
wondered why we had to move
wondered why they couldn't move here
wondered why I had to leave my friends
wondered why I was to be punished.

last day of school
Ms. F. explained I was to not return the next year
many were sad a few cried.
Ms. F. sat there on her chair
in the middle of the room
a few tears and kissed me on my cheek
my eyes closed all was dark

I woke up the next day
Miss K., third grade in the boonies
wanted to write my friends a letter
but didn't know how; wanted to go back
wanted to wake up from the nightmare

when I did I was twenty four years old
not more than half an hour ago
it's 2:30 in the morning
my eyes I kept forced closed
I didn't want to know where I was
I wanted to believe I was still home
I wanted to believe my friends were nearby
I wanted to believe I was still seven
in Little Chute with B.C., J.F., S.W, T.J., E.B., ...
my sister,  my mother --waking us early
driving us to our grandparents
my grandpa, his painting hat from Mautz
his hands clenching a metal lunchbox and thermos
descending the first stair out the back door
his white pants speckled with dried paint
my grandma --making sure we got to school
Ms. W. reminding me that morning
"The early bird gets the worm"
I sat there in the empty lot before school
my own lunchbox,  my own thermos

B.C. and I walked back home together
one last time waiving to each other