It happens. A co-worker, boss, advisor, supervisor, or another person at your job -- maybe a customer -- barks at you out of anger, frustration, angst or occasionally just because they can. What do you do?

This has happened to me a few times over the years. It usually caught me by surprise because I knew I was not only doing my job, but doing it as best as I could. So, what did I do?

Stayed Calm. Mentally stepped back and realized that the other person's world is different from mine. Assessed the remarks they made, applied them to my mental checklist of things to do, to change, to improve upon, and accepted their remarks unless the remarks were harshly unmerited. Sometimes the constraints you are to work with are untenable.

In one case the guy, a research advisor, barked at me only because he could with no accountability whatsoever that day. He planned it that way. He was out of control and blurted out "Why do you have a Midwestern Conspiracy Theory against me?" as my labmates looked on.

What would you have done after 10 to 15 minutes of your advisor's mindless spit-spewing rant at full blast as you wait for a campus police officer to appear that HE summoned? Yeah, he called for campus police claiming I was being belligerent. The officer quietly stood in the hallway as my advisor ranted for several minutes before I let on about the officer's presence.

The officer asked if *I* was okay, then stepped out of sight for a while to listen-in. I complied with my advisor's demands and fired him as an advisor later that week. This was a very professional decision after numerous mindless outbursts. It was the right decision as he did all he could for many years afterward to discredit me, going so far as to register my personal information on porn websites while logged onto a work terminal with his own university account years after I finished my PhD. He even showed up exclusively for my scheduled 15 minute lecture time-slot during a conference at my graduate university and left once he realized we were running about an hour behind. Be aware that others may never let their personal hangups go. Ever.

Never forget to keep an attitude of professionalism in any job no matter how "dirty" or squeaky white-collar "clean." Their world is different from yours by only a factor of one. Theirs versus yours.
 

This was the theme of a poetry collection I wrote in the summer of 2007 when I lived in Coralville, IA, outside of Iowa City where I worked in the Physics Department at U. Iowa. The collection's title, "Outside In," reflects the perspective we must all have when addressing anyone in our lives. From both your outside in (their view) and their outside in (your view).

Here's a piece from that collection:

Difference of One

it surrounds us
the outside
yours and mine
cold, warm
soft and harsh

I’m in yours.
You,
mine.
The only difference.